The Key To Stop Criticizing Yourself

Criticizing yourself is healthy when it amounts to an affectionate evaluation exercise, motivated by the intention to grow and be better. This is not always the case. Sometimes that critical voice ends up becoming a lurking enemy, who watches, points out and censors, most of the time for no real reason.

Unfortunately, there are many people who are accompanied by that  insidious voice , whose function is none other than to damage and destroy. Despite this, it is still there and sometimes you give it too much credit; You do not stop criticizing yourself, almost always in ways and for reasons that do not merit it.

The downside is that sometimes you come to think that criticizing yourself is a valid exercise, as this helps you correct mistakes and makes you more humble. That’s not true. Neither you, nor anyone else, grows or evolves at the point of stark signs. Personal growth is the result of motivation, not whipping.

Criticize yourself

The critical voice to which we so much heed does not always speak inspired by reality or wisdom. You look at yourself in the mirror and it starts to chatter; Ideas come up, such as that you are horrible, that you are overweight, or that you are a disaster.

Every time you make a mistake, it is there to tell you how dumb you have been or how bad you did it. Also, of course, highlight the points in which they could have been more successful and ends up disqualifying you. The result of all this criticism is pain and disappointment.

What happens after criticizing yourself with such severity? Rejection of what you are or do appears. The germ of fear also hunts: first it limits you and then it stops you. You end up feeling that you deserve much less than what you have.

Esteem?

When you feel miserable and you are convinced that you are useless, there is no lack of the message in which they tell you that the solution is to increase your self-esteem. However, how do you increase your self-esteem , if your own conscience is telling you all the time that you are a failure?

Finally, we appreciate things from defined guidelines and values. We have parameters to define what is cute, or smart, successful, etc. And it is precisely from those parameters that you do not stop criticizing yourself, because you do not adjust to what they point out. How then are you going to feel that you love yourself more, overnight?

Many times we look for answers in the mind that are rather in the heart. In this case, perhaps the most advisable thing is not to look for reasons to love you more, but to adopt an attitude that makes it possible. Nor is it simply a matter of silencing the critical voice, but rather of educating it.

The key is compassion

Authentic compassion is scarce in the world and the worst thing is that many times we do not lavish it on ourselves, not even on ourselves. Perhaps that is why we are not able to offer it to others either. The stark comparison and the idea that each person is worth to the extent that they are superior to others prevails.

The idea has also been imposed that the weak or the weak must be persecuted relentlessly. From there, abusive behaviors such as harassment or bullying are born. The idea in this is to make someone who is already vulnerable for some reason feel inferior. This is supposed to create the illusion of power and superiority and to that extent compensate for one’s own feelings of inferiority.

The criterion prevails that reality is measured in terms of the strong and the weak; the superiors and the inferiors. That is why comparison is a daily exercise. The idea is that someone loses and that someone is not us, but in that dangerous game, sooner or later everyone loses.

Look at you with compassion

The critical voice is a kind of bully in us. His victim is ourselves and we end up exercising moral and emotional harassment. You don’t need someone to bully , because we take care of that ourselves. Do you realize how absurd this all ends up being?

Compassion is the key to getting out of that fatal vicious cycle of criticizing yourself. Looking at yourself compassionately means being generous, empathetic, and patient with what you evaluate and see, rather than applying harsh and indolent judgments.

Instead of looking at where you are superior or inferior to others, think about what makes you equal to everyone. If you stop criticizing yourself, you will not become more lazy or mediocre; what you are going to get is a more humane and loving perspective on yourself. This will also help you to be more tolerant of others and will become a strength to be better.