I Feel Sorry For Myself
What we want to explain with this post has nothing to do with a dramatic song or a phrase that is associated with victimhood . For much of Eastern culture, compassion is a great virtue, applied to others as well as to oneself.
Not only that, in the purely scientific field, the British Journal of Clinical Psychology has already consecrated four articles dedicated to Compassion-centered Tetrapy (CFT), in view of the extremely good results provided.
Dyer already pointed out in his books ” My wrong zones “, guilt along with concern for the future are the two most useless feelings that exist, they totally separate us from the present.
Does the feeling of guilt have an overestimation of good in our society?
The answer is a resounding yes. We have been led to believe from a young age that “feeling guilty” fixes something of the wrong or wrong that we have caused. But the only thing that leads us to is a web of resentments, of negative thoughts, of overgeneralizing that action throughout our lives, which conditions our relationship with our self and with others.
Therefore, what is the use of feeling guilty … Who is the winner?
Well, we should take a look outside to know that the guilt is thrown by resentful people who do not know how to relate to others, if not through coercion and hypocrisy.
It is also not new to know that advertising agents make us feel guilty for how unhealthy and slim we are. That certain religious movements (fortunately not all) abduct millions of “very guilty” people for their actions and are delighted, or so it seems, to help them (or recruit them).
Instead of blaming yourself, feel sorry for yourself ; but not in a victimizing way. Pity that child, that uninformed young woman, that saturated father, who once made a mistake. But for that particular moment, his life has not “gone to hell.”
We do not come with instructions, so go to yourself and talk to yourself, alone, slowly, with love. Talk to yourself about how bad you felt, how bad you were going through at that time, that thanks to it you have matured, that this lesson has made you more human and perfect.
Look at yourself with perspective, with a sweet and mischievous look, and say: “I am proud of you, of how you reacted, of the strength with which you acted. I don’t know if I would do it just as well now as you. You came out triumphant, and that is what has made US a better person. Both, you from the past and I from the present, we know everything we have lived and suffered for, no one has the right to judge us, so let’s not do it ourselves ”.
Self- compassion is healing, because it puts you in touch with your caring part, through a negative experience that turned out to be revealing for your “current self.” It involves the awareness that we have limitations and that therefore, we are fallible on many occasions.
Self-compassion preserves our self-esteem, helps us to be empathetic, and protects us from negative feelings when things don’t go the way we imagined.
Integrate all this and go your way, although always learn. Remember the words of the psychologist Carl Gustav Jung:
So learn, and go your way without guilt.
