How To Remove The Grudge

Grudge is a negative emotion that appears when we feel that someone has misbehaved and hurt us. But feeling resentment does not fix any problem, on the contrary, it can cause us unhappiness and suffering.

The feeling of resentment appears as protection not to suffer, to flee from pain. By turning sadness into resentment we feel stronger, many times all this is done unconsciously.

To eliminate resentment, it is not necessary to forgive.  There are serious situations where forgiveness would not be advisable, but we should also try to remove the resentment in order to remain at peace, so that within one everything is resolved in a healthy way.

Many times a strong resentment can lead the person to want revenge, but the truth is that this worsens the inner discomfort even more. When someone feels a grudge it means that there were feelings at stake.

Taking revenge can then give a momentary well-being, but it will end up producing even more pain, because a clash of contradictions will take place. And it is that the resentment usually produces a desire for revenge, but the feelings that there are also towards the person would end up producing guilt and regret.

What do we gain by feeling a grudge?

Ask yourself this question every time you feel an emotion that dominates: What do you get out of it? Who benefits? It is difficult to change the emotional state spontaneously, but many things can be done to try to dissipate it.

There is nothing positive in holding a grudge.  While the other person who hurt you is probably happy and does not feel guilty about the pain they caused, the injured person is hurting himself or herself. For this reason, it is not rational to carry a grudge on our shoulders, because after all we only cause ourselves pain.

In short, resentment keeps evil in mind for a long time, almost all day. With such an emotional state, and that kind of thinking, it is very difficult to be happy and productive.

Positive phrases to end the resentment

The way of thinking is decisive to return to inner peace.  If we don’t stop thinking about what happened, if we keep asking ourselves questions that have no answers, if we investigate non-stop why, what is unfair, about the mistakes we made, we will never end up feeling resentment.

It is advisable to think in a way that lets “let go” of the past, cut that rope that kept us tied to the past and move forward with the soul in peace. Here are a few phrases that can help us leave it all behind without grudges.

• “ That’s life, everything happened like this and nothing can be done anymore. I have learned from everything that happened and now the important thing is what is in my life in the present and what I am going to sow for the future ”.

• “ I free myself from guilt and grudges. Nothing can be done anymore and I choose to focus my mind on the present because going backwards is detrimental to me ”.
• “ I love myself and accept everything that happened. I keep the life lesson learned and decide to move forward with my soul in peace ”.

4 tips to eliminate grudges

1. Relief

Take a day to get it all out, you can talk about it with someone you trust or write it down. Say or write everything you think, think, what you feel in the deepest part of your being.

2. Don’t go backwards

Once we had our day of relief, we must try not to go back because recreating in stagnant pain. The purpose of getting everything out was to vent and get all the feelings out, but once done it is important to leave it behind and forget everything.

3. Acceptance and learning

Accepting what happened means that we let go of resentment, hatred or whatever feelings we have. It is accepting that things cannot be changed and putting negativities aside, simply focusing on the learning that that situation gave us.

4. Keep living with inner peace

We can install new habits that offer us inner peace, such as relaxation, taking our quiet time to do what we like, exercise, etc. And above all to continue forward, with our projects, hobbies, desires, always staying active.

Let us remember that what we feel inside does not depend on the outside.  It is up to you to handle your emotions. Let us never let what happens to us harm our inner well-being. It depends on us, we become aware of what we focus on in our day to day.