How To Develop A More Attractive And Charismatic Personality

Is it possible to have a more attractive and charismatic personality? It is clear that nobody can turn their way of being 180º to suddenly transform themselves into someone completely different. Now, in reality, dimensions such as charisma or the ability to influence others, can be trained, awakened and act like the light of a beacon to guide and inspire others.

The recently disappeared writer PD James used to say that there are people with genuine charm. And that nuance that so captivates and draws attention has a secret: authenticity, emerging directly from the heart and without any falsehood. Therefore, one of the keys to enjoying that social glue, that spark that attracts glances and inspires, is to use sincerity.

What is forced creates distance. What part of the falsehood is perceived the second. In fact, people have an almost infallible detector to identify the false smile, the rehearsed attitude that seeks to attract attention in a declared way … All of these are red dots that we must avoid in case we want to develop a more attractive personality.

Because attractive personalities exist and they have little to do with physical beauty. In reality, there is nothing more attractive than the person who is confident in himself, who transmits positivity and that gentle simplicity that you feel you can trust from minute zero. Let’s dive a little deeper into this topic.

Keys to developing a more attractive and charismatic personality

What really is a charismatic personality? This is surely the first question we can ask ourselves. When we speak of charisma, we are basically referring to a social skill. It is the ability to attract, impact on others and do it in a natural way, but with enough skill (and charm) to leave no one indifferent.

Something like this allows us, for example, to improve professionally. Not to mention also our social relationships, since charisma allows us to add to our personality that touch of positive enthusiasm with which to better reach people. In this way, we leave in them that imprint of positive emotions that improves communication, treatment, being able to reach agreements, etc.

If we ask ourselves now if one is born charismatic or if this ability can be trained, the answer is clear: we can all learn to be charismatic. The strategies to develop a more attractive and charismatic personality are not so complex or unknown.

While it is true that more than a century ago, the philosopher and psychologist Max Weber described charisma as a supernatural gift, today that idea has changed. John Antonakis from the University of Lausanne (Switzerland) has been researching this topic for more than a decade. Her 2011 research paper Can Charisma Be Taught? Tests of Two Interventions is one of the best references.

Now let’s find out which areas we should work on.

Enthusiasm and assertive communication

People who love what they do always attract. In some way, enthusiasm is related to that idea, to feeling passion for life, for people, for what one believes in. That positive energy wrapped in motivation is one of the best keys to developing a more attractive and charismatic personality.

To enthusiasm is added another essential competence: assertive communication. We are not looking for that inordinate kindness that is often cloying. Nor do we need to be funny, overuse humor and jokes to elicit smiles in others. What we want is to demonstrate charisma and charisma contains within it personal security and high resolution.

That is why we must develop adequate assertive communication: speak with security, respect and knowing how to defend our own rights.

Self confidence (but combined with simplicity)

At times, excessive self-confidence can be interpreted by others as a trait of pride . You have to master this dimension very well so as not to fall into excess or narcissism.

The aim is to develop a more attractive and charismatic personality, but from a healthy, respectful and always humble point of view. This is how the real charm comes from: self-confidence and simplicity.

Know how to listen and know how to look

The attractive and charismatic personality is not only distinguished by its good communication skills. Something that defines it is knowing how to listen and understand the art of the gaze. What do we mean by this?

• Who knows how to listen makes the interlocutor feel comfortable. It also makes the person in front feel validated, accepted and with the feeling that what they are saying is important and interesting.

• On the other hand, it is essential to know how to always maintain eye contact. And not only that. We should try to “smile” with our eyes.

To develop a more attractive and charismatic personality you need emotional intelligence

The attractive personality, the one that leaves its mark and is not forgotten, is a great teacher in emotional intelligence. It is in the first place, because it knows how to regulate its state of mind very well to show serenity, positivism and a close attitude. None of that would be possible if you were to be trapped by your frustrations, your anxieties, and your fears.

On the other hand, the charismatic person is a great expert in three very specific components of emotional intelligence: empathy, social skills and connection. To leave an imprint on someone you have to reach their heart and for this there is empathic communication, knowing how to recognize emotions in the other and make them feel confident.

Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability

People who strive to be infallible, resilient, and tremendously effective don’t tend to arouse our closeness too much. Whoever seeks to be invulnerable distances himself from what is typical of the human being, from what our essences and emotions are. Therefore, to develop a more attractive and charismatic personality we must not be afraid to show our vulnerability.

That makes us more authentic. Therefore, we do not need to pretend something that we are not. On one side is the fear of making mistakes, of getting excited, of falling and failing. The charismatic person is this and much more. He is someone who makes his humanity his banner and clothes it with charm, closeness and an always positive attitude.

It is not that difficult to train and awaken this social skill. It is within the power of all of us to try to create an impact on those around us to leave a mark on their hearts.