How Do You Get Over Saying “no” At Work?
Work is a very important part of our life. The tasks we perform fill us up and allow us to develop skills, as well as obtain money to cover our basic needs. We train and attend interviews to get that job we want so much. So we find it strange to say “no” at work. However, sometimes, it is necessary.
The Adecco Foundation advises to be assertive already in the interview itself. Because what if the job doesn’t fit what we’re looking for? What if they don’t offer us options to promote and this is something we want? We can end up in a position that does not satisfy us and in which not knowing how to say “no” begins to play very bad tricks on us.
We don’t have to always be available
Our work has hours that are stipulated in a contract. In addition, this document specifies the working conditions, such as overtime. In the event that our superiors ask us to do extra hours that are not paid or even these overtime instead of being something punctual become a constant, it is essential to learn to say “no” at work.
Behind that predisposition to always be available is fear. The fear of being fired, of being rejected or of hardening our conditions. Therefore, the best way to combat it is not only by improving our self-confidence, but by starting to say “no” at work. To do this, we can start with small actions, such as refusing to meet coworkers for the third time this week to spend time with family, for example.
Later, when we realize that there is nothing wrong with saying “no”, it is the moment that when they ask us if we can take on an additional task (and we cannot) we refuse. So, until we can say “no” to those extra hours that extend working hours day in and day out as well. At first, the reaction of others will make us feel a very strong rejection: they are not used to us being assertive.
What are the consequences of not knowing how to say “no” at work?
Besides keeping in mind that we don’t have to always be available, we know what happens when we can’t say “no” at work. The consequences are usually high stress, anxiety about not knowing if we will get to everything, sacrificing time that we could dedicate to our family or ourselves, not resting well and doing the task quickly and badly.
This has serious consequences for our well-being. We will feel more and more sad, stress can become chronic, we may begin to have anxiety problems that cause insomnia or difficulties to rest well. All of this will reduce our productivity and we may end up suffering from what is known as burnout syndrome.
What is negotiable and what is not negotiable?
Finally, it is good to identify which aspects are negotiable and which are not. For each person it will be different, but an example can be the following.
Let’s imagine that we have no problem staying an hour longer at work at times like Christmas. This is a part of our work that we are willing to negotiate. But, if our superiors use that predisposition to abuse it, which causes us not to have time for our family, this for us is no longer negotiable and we must express it this way.
In other cases, it may not be negotiable for us to take a person to a certain place or accept a responsibility in our jobs that is not contemplated in the contract. That is why it is good to be clear about our negotiation limits.
Overcoming saying “no” at work is not easy, especially if the demand comes from a superior. Self-confidence and self-esteem issues can blur us into limits that we neither recognize nor enforce. Always saying “yes” can cause problems in the couple, the family and make us feel unhappy for not having time for ourselves. Are we starting to change this?
