Beyond The Malaise Caused By Jealousy Lie Opportunities

How to get rid of that discomfort that arises every time our partner is talking to another person whom we consider a possible enemy? What to do every time we feel jealous? Is it possible to find a constructive approach to our jealousy and insecurities?

Jealousy is a travel companion for many of us that most of the time originates from our great powers of imagination. The key is to perceive them as a gradient in which if we touch the extremes we will not be in the right point (or healthier for us), but in a danger zone that will lead us to destroy ourselves. On the other hand, if we place ourselves in intermediate points, jealousy will be much healthier and more bearable.

Along with this, there is an important factor that will keep us from suffering when we feel jealous and that we have to learn to cultivate in our relationship as a couple: communication. When we understand what is happening to us or what makes us feel bad about the other’s behavior and we know how to communicate it, problems become words and from them (if you like), solutions are found.

In addition, trust in the other is also going to be a basic point.  Because trusting our partner will give us the security so that despite these feelings of jealousy arise, there will continue to be the peace of mind that we are building a joint path based on fidelity and respect.

What does jealousy show about you?

Jealousy tends to speak more about the person who feels it than about the relationship they maintain and are related to mistrust, insecurity or lack of self-esteem. For this reason, they are important aspects to work on for each of us and above all, for those who are most jealous because what at one moment is an internal conflict can turn into a relationship problem later on.

The freedom to choose to walk alongside someone and be aware that a couple is made up of two separate souls who make the decision to start a journey together, supposes agreeing that the other does not belong to us. In this way, when jealousy comes on stage, it will be easier to perceive it as one of the disguises that our fears use, those that make us fear being alone, losing the other or imagining that we can find a better partner.

Only trust in us, security in the partner and a good self-esteem will contribute to see that the other person has been free to make the decision to be by our side and that if at some point this stops being the case, we will be free to take other decisions. Nobody belongs to anybody, let’s not forget it.

Discovering the constructive part of jealousy

After discovering what is behind jealousy, we have to see what positive part we can get out of it. As we have commented,  the key lies in knowing how to locate understandable and functional limits every time they invade us and not letting ourselves be carried away by our impulses; because behind jealousy there are opportunities to build not only ourselves but also our relationship as a couple.

Thus, when we feel jealous, instead of being influenced by the hurricane of thoughts that begins to appear in our minds, we can choose to realize that our partner matters to us. It is not so much to ignore what we feel but to be aware of it and little by little manage it from a more positive perspective. In this way, we will transform our fears into feelings of gratitude because the person next to us continues to find in us everything they want to be happy.

On the other hand, if we settle into our relationship as a couple, jealousy can be perceived as an alarm signal that tells us that we have to cultivate love day by day if we want our relationship to be strong and lasting. Because in a relationship you have to continue surprising so that the magic is not lost.

On the other hand, jealousy can give us clues of what is missing in our relationship. If our partner finds out something that we would like him to share with us, it is time to find out what it is and what part we can contribute, if possible.

Even feeling jealous can also give us an extra point of intimacy in the couple. Having the confidence and ease to show others our fears and open our soul will provoke a rapprochement that can be resolved through communication. So let’s use our weak points and give them strength, let’s turn them into resources and find in them the positive part to continue building a healthy and conscious love in our relationship.