Are You Still Trapped In The Past Or Do You Live In The Now?
A song, a smell, a comment … any small detail is enough to transport you to the past. To that friendship that betrayed you, that love that ended, those parents who seem to have not been up to the task. When we do not heal the past, it haunts us, lurks around every corner ready to condition our present.
Each experience we have had has shaped us, has contributed in some way to who we are today. The education we receive, the family in which we grew up, the companions, friends and lovers who have accompanied us throughout life. Their actions taught us to be confident or fearful, determined or insecure, happy or hopeless.
A happy past can be an injection of self-esteem and optimism about life. Instead, a painful one can drag you back again and again to the most unpleasant scenes and emotions in your story. Are we condemned to be what they made of us?
Focus on the pain and you will continue to suffer, focus on the lesson and you will continue to grow
Remembering is necessary to know who we are, where we come from and what we have experienced. Our past existed, it was as it was and it is not healthy to deny or repress it. There is no doubt that the particular experiences of each one have an influence on their present personality. The question is, do you want that influence to be positive or negative?
When our past has been hard, we developed specific mechanisms that helped us to adapt to that hostile environment. We acquired lessons that helped us avoid rejection, abandonment or humiliation. However, these mechanisms are often not the most appropriate and, above all, they are not useful in our present, where the circumstances are not the same.
Continuing to act fearfully or aggressively in the present does not help us, as we are no longer helpless children. We are adults with the ability to reason and choose better options. It is not valid to hide in the past to continue with behaviors that harm us or the people around us.
It is our responsibility to accept what happened and heal our wounds . We have to seek learning in each adverse circumstance in order to emerge stronger from it. Each experience teaches us something about ourselves or the world, and this helps us to know who we are, what we want and what we will not tolerate anymore.
Use your past as an impulse, and not as a drag. Let it be the springboard that launches you towards a better version of yourself, wiser, more mature and more responsible. Take charge of your past so that you can take responsibility for your present.
The power of the present moment to get out of the past
Despite having healed and faced the past, many times it refuses to let go of our thoughts and continues to torment us endlessly. Its impact on our life becomes so great that it prevents us from living and acting in freedom. We see ourselves only trying not to repeat the same mistakes and with the fear that this will still happen.
This is when the power of the present moment can help us. A concept as simple and as powerful as living here and now, to escape fear and guilt. Here and now you are fine. Here and now you do not need anything, you are safe, you are calm. While you watch that movie, while you chat with a friend, while you do your housework, everything is fine.
Focusing on the present moment is a powerful tool because it disconnects the automatic pilot of thoughts and connects us with ourselves. It helps us to enjoy our senses, landscapes, people.
Putting it into practice is as simple as focusing all your attention on the task you are doing at all times. If you are taking a shower, just take a shower. If you are reading, read. When you walk with your dog, focus on enjoying the scenery and its company. Fill your mental space so much with present sensations that there is no room for past reproaches.
When you feel like you are entering a thought loop about something that happened, why it happened, and how you could do it better, stop. When the time comes I will take care, here and now everything is fine.
