5 Communication Errors In The Couple

There are communication errors in the couple that last for years. They start out as a deficiency, but end up becoming a habit. These mechanisms prevent identifying and solving many of the problems that arise between two people who love each other.

One of the central axes in couple relationships is communication. That area where feelings, thoughts and desires are expressed. If there is good communication, everything else comes in addition. On the other hand, when it is distorted or deteriorates, new problems can begin to appear in other areas of the relationship.

Most of the communication errors in the couple occur due to fear or lack of maturity. One does not end up seeing the other as a partner, but rather defensive attitudes arise in front of him. Therefore, it is always good to self-evaluate and determine if you are making any of these errors. It is worth realizing and rectifying in time. Here are some of them.

1. Absolutism, one of the most common communication errors in couples 

Absolutism is a form of extremism in communication that does a lot of damage. It has to do with a self-centered view of the world. Also with the inability to grasp the different nuances that reality has. It implies a difficulty to understand and accept other perspectives different from oneself.

It is one of the most common communication mistakes in couples. It translates as a demand for total coherence in the other. “If you love me, you cannot cause me any displeasure.” As if the human is not full of paradoxes and contradictions. Absolutism is reflected in the attempt to impose behaviors. You “must” be like that. You “have” to do this or that.

2. Selectivity or tunnel vision

Selectivity or tunnel vision operates when we try to interpret everything through a single category. Unfortunately, this category is the negative. In other words, everything in the other looks bad. Even the good stuff.

It is one of the most common communication errors in the couple and the one that does the most damage. It is as if there is a need to correct each other all the time. To show him the weakest or wrong aspects of what he does. It is typical of people who are not able to face the real conflict behind all that.

3. Extremism

Extremism in communication is similar to absolutism. However, this refers more to emotional reactions. Gestures and emotions are also part of communication as a couple.

In this case, any minor problem becomes a tragedy by the work and grace of that extremist vision. Even the most irrelevant difficulties end in scenes of crying or screaming.

Extremism denotes lack of self-control and difficulty in analysis. Whoever exhibits this type of behavior is likely to look to their partner for the father or mother of their childhood. She wants to show, above all, her childish facets. Seek understanding and support, as a child would. In the long run it prevents genuine communication from being sustained. It also does not allow mutual growth, nor does it promote autonomy.

4. Divination

This is one of the most common communication errors in the couple. It happens when one of the two assumes that he can guess the other’s thinking. It starts from the idea that the couple is known like nobody else and even, it is believed to know the most hidden intentions and thoughts of the other.

This type of communication usually generates great misunderstandings. Understandings lead to it. Reflects lack of trust in the other and paranoia. You are always looking for and interpreting what the other says between the lines. It is also a form of attempted control.

5. Labeling

Labeling consists of stereotyping the partner. This is usually done after you have had a problem. Also when the other has made a mistake. From then on, it is condemned to remain in a square. It can be “inconsiderate,” “careless,” “irresponsible,” or anything else. The goal, in any case, is to mark it with a stamp.

All of these are communication errors in the couple. Its most harmful effect is that they undermine the possibility of understanding. They also affect mutual trust and end up eroding affection.