Loves Of Old Age: Autumn Souls That Connect

Loves in middle age are filtered by lived experience and the serenity of the heart. We speak of autumnal souls who are in the twilight of a stage where they understand love, no longer as a conquest or an invasion, but as a connection based on joy, tenderness and complicity. They are (usually) honest relationships that give way to a wonderful stage.

It is often said that true love awaits us in maturity. However, it must be said that it is not entirely true. Sometimes we tend to fall into the error of wanting to make continuous comparisons about all our life experiences, when the reality is a little simpler. Existing is after all knowing how to appreciate everything that happens in each stage, thanking each experience of youth, with its successes and mistakes and in turn enjoying each gift that maturity offers us.

Each cycle allows us to receive everything that comes to us in a particular way. When we are young we hardly put any filter on and we embrace with immense desire and infinite energy everything that we come across on our way. We are like intense summer storms. Later, one becomes more selective, more cautious, in us there is still the perfume of those intense summers but we prefer warmer breezes, the kind that smell calm, bright afternoons and quiet beaches.

Loves in middle age do not renounce much less joviality or innocence, but what they do not want is to fall into old mistakes. They know very well that couples are not half oranges, but rather “oranges and apples”, people who carry different and sometimes very different experiences. Souls with their own individuality who want, why not, give love a new chance … Let’s delve into love in middle age.

Loves in old age, when getting old is synonymous with happiness

Alberto and Maite have more than 60 springs on their shoulders and today they have decided to take the step: to live together. There is no shortage of critical voices from some of his children: surely it is simple economic interest, says one. They only seek to extinguish loneliness, others say. It is a whim, one dares to say softly, surely in a few months they will return to their things, to their books, to their travels, to their grandchildren …

However, neither Alberto nor Maite cares too much about all those criticisms and opinions. They are not for those things, wrinkles and scars, although they cloud the skin a little, they clothe the heart and the will with strength. What they are going to do they carry out with knowledge of the facts. They are not children, maturity does not confer naivety, but good wisdom. In addition, their emotional and experiential backpacks keep infinite experiences to make that decision a simple outburst, a mere whim.

That autumn love, beyond what the children think and all those looks that they observe but do not see, does not know about selfishness nor does it need to demonstrate anything to others. Because nothing is artificial in them, their thoughts, their purposes and their caresses are so sincere that it is the light of truth that illuminates them, it is such a complete feeling that fills their heads, hands and hearts.

On the other hand, there is a fact that surely our leading couple already knows. Much of the younger population is associated with the classic idea that maturity or that more autumnal stage of our life cycle is synonymous with passivity and resignation. It is as if love or passion had an expiration date, as if it were forbidden territory for those who paint gray hair, for those who leave behind more life than what lies ahead.

It is a mistake, in fact, if there is something positive psychology is teaching us, it is that the happiness curve reaches its highest peak at this stage. A moment where love is lived in a much clearer, cleaner way.

The new timeline and the importance of love

Love in old age confers a more than satisfactory rest on the person. It is not a fire that burns the skin, but a river that takes us on a journey of discoveries as a couple, where we can continue to grow, experiment and nurture a new type of happiness. Because beyond what some skeptics may believe, it is at this stage where, on average, greater psychological well-being is experienced.

The economists Blanchflower and Oswald carried out an interesting study where they concluded that in reality, the perception of well-being and personal satisfaction is experienced with greater intensity in childhood and in middle age. The happiness represented throughout our life cycle would therefore have a “U” shape, reaching a first peak in childhood and a second reaching fifty.

It is clear, however, that having a birthday is not synonymous with gaining in psychological maturity. Emotional balance is also not normative, yet a good portion of the population entering the fall of their lives does so with exceptional integrity and a wonderful attitude.

The loves in middle age may not be as effusive as the first adolescent love, but they will undoubtedly be much more fruitful, more satisfying.