Living Without Desire, When Apathy Takes Hold Of Me

Living without desire is the global reflection of apathy and lack of motivation for what we expect from the present and future. Getting up, every day, in this state, can become an ordeal. An uphill that becomes really steep by the inertia that governs our mental state.

Let’s not forget that, for people who live without enthusiasm,  getting up every morning involves dedicating time to certain tasks with the feeling of not having the strength to carry them out. In a way, they need to make an extra effort, required by the burden they carry, to achieve inexpensive goals (breakfast, dressing, showering …). On the other hand, apathy is so high that it makes them a world to take the initiative.

Live reluctantly in silence

Sometimes apathy goes unnoticed, because the person makes up for the lack of motivation with effort. Thus, those around a person who lives in a spiral of reluctance may not be aware of the pain that person may be feeling. Let’s think, how am I going to perceive that he is feeling a constant apathy if he behaves the same as always?

This is a relevant point. Many times we do not give the importance it deserves to the emotional state of the other due to the absence of salient external symptoms. The person continues to comply at work, with family obligations, going to social gatherings … even on his face we can see smiles reflected; however, internally, there is no illusion.

Faced with apathy, avoid clichés

When someone tells us how they feel, we tend to fall into the typical phrases frequently: “that’s nothing”, “you’ll see how it will happen to you”, “it happens to all of us”, “cheer up”, “don’t give it so much importance ”… Point out that, although the intention is to help, for a person who lives without desire, the typical motivational phrases may not be comforting . On the contrary, the feeling of not being understood can make you cut off the communication channels and withdraw into yourself.

So what do I do if someone tells me they feel listless? Well, really that person may be needing your support and your active listening : feeling that you understand him, that you understand what he is going through, that you will be there. It is likely that it will comfort him to express what it means to him to live without desire, to use his will constantly to accomplish each task.

Beyond apathy

Living reluctantly, apathetic, can have a physiological component, as claimed by a research team. They associate demotivation and apathy with very specific brain circuits that at certain times can show certain abnormalities in their functioning. Let us think that behind the reluctance it is possible that there are determining factors beyond external circumstances.

In turn, apathy could hide certain underlying psychological pathologies and problems, such as major depression or dysthymia. Therefore, one of the first steps to overcome this state is to rule out medical problems (hormonal or organic causal factors) and / or psychological.

Leaving aside the source of apathy, it is important to seek support. We can do it both in the closest environment and in the field of specialized professionals, since suffering sometimes overwhelms us in such a way that we need external help to overcome it.