Parents Who Turn Their Children Into Little Narcissists

Many parents believe that their child is the most handsome, the one who gets the best grades, the smartest, the one who does everything well… It is natural, we are all in essence special and unique. However, constantly pointing out to the little ones only what they do well, while ignoring what they are wrong about can turn them into little narcissists.

“Not so much not so little” would be an applicable phrase in this case. There are parents who choose to provide their children with negative reinforcement that undermines their self-esteem, making them feel inadequate and worthless. Others opt for positive reinforcement, where the negative is ignored. Both extremes have quite damaging consequences. Let’s see how little narcissists grow up.

The food of the little narcissists

We are not going to say that it is wrong to praise children. Of course, it is positive to point out what they do well ” look how well that exercise has turned out “, ” you have cleaned the table great “, ” you have behaved very well “. However, we know that children are not perfect, that they make mistakes, and that they do things wrong.

The food of the little narcissists is usually the constant praise together with the satisfaction of all their whims by their parents. They can even defend them despite being wrong and blaming other people as long as their children are not responsible for what happened.

For a child to learn to avoid responsibility is not a good thing. You will grow up thinking that mistakes belong to others, that others can bear the consequences of their actions and in the long run, you will end up frustrated when you discover that this is not how relationships work, or the world.

If a child grows up thinking that he does nothing wrong and that others are wrong, he will believe that he is perfect. So why strive? Why act otherwise? On the contrary, it will continue demanding and pointing with the finger where the others have been confused until imposing its tyranny.

The abundance of praise, along with the lack of limits and indications of what is not done well can generate small narcissists over time. Many parents may believe that by not pointing out mistakes to their children they are doing them a favor, although in reality they are preventing them from maturing emotionally. Tomorrow they will have many problems to relate properly with others and to value themselves.

When parents overestimate their children, they put a veil over their eyes that prevents them from being critical of them. If a child pushes another and his parent instead of telling him that he has not done well and that he has to apologize, he is dedicated to telling him that nothing happens that surely the other child has done something to him, his ego will be inflated. But this is not the worst. The child in the future will not be able to recognize his mistakes or accept that he is wrong.

Build good self-esteem without falling into narcissism

Not constantly praising does not mean that we do not point out what our children do well and value them. Building a healthy self-esteem is always possible. The key is in balance.

Children have to feel accepted just the way they are, even though some behaviors are more acceptable than others. Parents cannot think that if they point out what they do wrong to their children, they will become sad and feel unloved. From an early age you have to convey to them what unconditional love is.

Communicating to children that they are loved and that being angry or upset does not mean that they are no longer loved is essential.  It is also important to educate them in equality, without making comments that may consider that they are in a superior position in relation to others. Conveying that we are all the same but with different characteristics and qualities is a good idea.

In addition, it is important to teach them that everything has its moment and that it takes effort.  Especially when they opt for a demanding and demanding behavior.

As we can see, small narcissists tend to learn to behave selfishly due to a series of conditions and attitudes that have a lot to do with the guidelines and education received from their parents. Although it is true that the personal characteristics of each child such as their traits and other types of variables also influence.

However, it is important to remember that children are not perfect, no matter how much their parents may want to consider it. They, too, make mistakes and have to learn to accept them in order to take responsibility for them. Otherwise, they will not be doing them any favors, but profound damage.