Can Friendship Exist After Love?
Can you really become friends with ex-partners? Can you continue to maintain a good friendship relationship after love? Is this type of relationship healthy when love has ended between two people? Do you get to be friends or is it just a kind of cordial relationship?
It would be a shame to think that after a beautiful relationship and part of the shared path, there could be no link beyond the memories. I refuse to think that it cannot be done better, I refuse to think that love is over, common words and moments together are also over. Surely there is some possibility of establishing a friendship relationship after love.
The key may be not to wear down the relationship so much, not to get to a point where the wound tears the bone. In not immersing the affection that has survived in hatred, in saying, see you soon and in another way, instead of goodbye; in knowing how to move away and recover distance.
We may not call it friendship, it may never be a close relationship again, but sometimes they are still people who know us well and there are not many of those. Many of them are also people in whom one day we saw something that was worthwhile and that something is still present, so that the bad thing goes away when the couple breaks up. However, the answer is not the same for all relationships, each one in itself would deserve a chapter.
Are there always ashes where there was love?
Time, used to develop a story well, can be our best ally. To close wounds , draw scars and provide us with a new point of view in which resentment has dissipated: one in which we are able to regain a certain objectivity to calibrate the balance on which the good and the not so good are weighed.
Are there still ashes? Maybe yes, it will be difficult to see our ex-partner as a strange person, it will also be difficult to see her as a friend. When a part of our life has been shared with another person it will be difficult for the other to stop meaning something important to us, if he became my partner it means that something united us. Sometimes, even if the relationship ends, part of the complicity of yesteryear does not have to cease to exist.
That there are ashes left is not a bad thing, we can take advantage of it to know that although today it has changed. There was a day when something united us and we continue to have the pleasure of being able to meet from time to time and savor a beautiful, healthy and fun bond with whom one day made us so happy and currently continues to give us moments that add up.
Positive and negative aspects of friendship after love
If we want a friendship to be forged after love in a short time, we may make a mistake. As we have said before, the most common is that we need some time to reorganize ourselves before we start to reorganize the relationship. The rush is good counselor in few cases and perhaps continuing to maintain contact, when the feelings and pain are still there, can do us more damage.
If one day there was love between two, it means that there is a connection, that the two people know each other, that affection made them come together and when the two people are healthy, why not continue taking care of each other and maintaining a friendship relationship. If the wounds are closed, it can mean the beginning of a new stage, in which friendship after love is possible, as long as it is wanted.
Not wearing down love so much that it hurts can be an important key. When we act badly with the other, there are third parties involved, there is pain, there is resentment, there is revenge … this is a barrier to any type of later friendship, this is a brake on any relationship or bond after ending love.
Why not have a beautiful relationship with someone so special with whom one day I shared my life? Why want to cut contact when someone meant so much to me? You have the answers, heal and then give yourself the opportunity to meet new links with the person who shared part of your journey. The intimacy will be different, the complicity will not have to be.
There is no definitive answer
If we ask, at a general level we find two answers: “you cannot be friends with an ex-partner” and “yes you can be”. The mind tends to dichotomy. To “yes” and “no”. But it’s not always like this. We should not force a friendship relationship with our ex-partner no matter how much he knows us. Not all relationships end the same.
First of all you have to close scars, and this takes time. Once the scars are closed, we should feel the feeling of closeness to our former partner. Many people don’t feel it. He knows that it was a time that has passed and he does not see the point of establishing a friendship. Then why do it? Life is made up of stages. This is not synonymous with ending badly. Rather, something beautiful has already happened and nothing inside us drives us to that friendship.
There are couples, who naturally and without forcing it, have continued with a beautiful friendship. But we should not insist on establishing the friendship relationship because it seems beautiful or ideal. If we do, it’s because we both feel it. If not, it doesn’t make sense. Because another aspect to take into account is that many couples do not end well and realize that they would not be good friends either. Thus, each relationship is a world and it should not be generalized about whether or not we should be friends after a breakup.
