4 Types Of Common Crises In Stable Couples

The couple is a reality that is in constant construction and reconstruction (evolution). The fact that two people love each other does not imply that their relationship is free of ups and downs, difficulties and conflicts. Thus, there are also moments of common crisis in stable couples.

Every couple is a world. It has its own strengths and weaknesses, as well as its own intrinsic conflicts. However, there are crises in stable couples that are common to the majority. They refer to moments in which some specific factors appear that destabilize the relationship.

The moments of common crisis those in stable couples are mainly four : when the infatuation ends; when the decision is made to consolidate the union; when having the children and, finally, when they leave. Let’s look at each of them in greater detail.

1. The end of the crush

This is the first of the common crises in stable couples. It usually takes place one year after starting the relationship. Studies say that on average falling in love, as such, lasts around three months. However, its effects tend to extend a bit more. In any case, let us remember that this is an approximate figure, which speaks of averages and not of particular cases.

The end of the infatuation supposes the rupture of part of the romantic ideals. In other words, stop seeing the other as a perfect or basically extraordinary being. Now also the defects are exposed. This implies a readjustment of expectations and, therefore, a crisis. Many couples that seemed perfect break up after a year or a year and a half. It is due to that step from the ideal to the real.

2. Consolidation, one of the common crises in stable couples

The usual thing is that, about three years after starting the relationship, another of the common crises in stable couples occurs. It corresponds to that moment in which the idea of “going to the next level” begins to float in the environment. That is, decide if they will live together or not. Here again there is a readjustment that leads to a moment of instability.

At this point, the relationship can take a number of directions. At best, both of you agree to live together or not. They then move on to truly accepting the other and consolidating a mature couple. Others, on the other hand, do not agree on the next step to take. That is why it is also usual that at that time there are ruptures or distancing that lead to the breakdown of the commitment and subsequent separations.

3. The arrival of the children, a moment of crisis

The arrival of the children is another factor that forces us to restructure the relationship. This is one of those moments when some cracks in the relationship can become visible. Unresolved conflicts from the past, including childhood, are also common. What seemed stable can wobble.

At this stage, the couple is relegated to the background, because the main role to assume is that of parents. Children become the priority. Sometimes there are disagreements in the parenting model. In other cases, one of the two comes to feel that so much responsibility feels overwhelmed. The inability to handle these conflicts is likely to lead to a breakdown. If they manage to overcome these difficulties, the couple becomes a more united family.

4. The empty nest and new challenges

Although the couple has managed to overcome all the previous stages, they still have the task of facing that moment when their children leave the home in which they have grown up. The two meet each other again, after many years. Each one has changed noticeably during that period and it is practically their turn to get to know each other and recognize each other.

Previously, couples married younger and that is why the crisis of the empty nest took place before the age of 50. Given this, many still felt old enough to start over. Now that autumn reunion takes place later. That is why breaks are not so common at this stage, but it could be a time of strong conflict. Overcoming them can restore dormant parts of the relationship.

Although the two members of a couple love each other deeply, this does not exempt them from going through difficult times. The crises in stable couples are also an opportunity to strengthen and strengthen the bonds between the two and give the relationship more depth and content.