Be Loves, Hopes, Fears, Don’t Hold Them If They Want To Fall

Not worth it. Do not hold what you want to fall, do not feed on dreams and hopes that which is already broken, that is tottering and that no longer supports you. It is wise to assume it and brave to know how to react in time, because whoever does not want to see reality and puts on his bandage and armor every day, in the end is left empty, hollow of illusions and self-esteem.

We know that in recent times a good part of psychology has been oriented towards offering us adequate strategies to achieve many of our dreams and goals. We have learned what positive thinking is, self-efficacy, motivation, self-confidence … Now, But  what happens when a part of those things achieved begin to collapse?

Believe it or not, personal growth also requires being skilled at intuiting which battles are no longer worth fighting, which doors must be closed, and which aspects of our life are best to let go of. Today we want to reflect with you on this issue, and also propose to remember a series of strategies with which to face these complicated situations in a more appropriate way.

False hopes and healing hopes

We are used to seeing the word hope as a comforting and encouraging dimension. It is like a pat on the back in days of doubt, like a hug in times of anguish and a cup of hot chocolate in afternoons of tears. However, more than a positive emotion, hope is also a cognitive dynamic to take into account.

Many of those interpretations that we make about everything that surrounds us, whether correct or not, underlie this dimension. Our day-to-day hopes also inhabit patterns of thought, attributions and personal evaluations. Hope is the one who tells us that of “hold on a little longer and you will see how everything works out” or that other of “surely in the end he realizes that it is me who he really loves.”

We are talking about false hopes, those that seek only to comfort us at any price, those to which we cling hoping that reality is always to our measure, without dissonance, without gaps. Now, we are all clear that in this perfectly imperfect world nothing is infallible, that whoever gives us an “I love you” tomorrow gives us his absence, and that what we now take for granted in a while may be a fearful uncertainty.

Healing hope, as opposed to false hope, is one where there is no resistance. It is she who allows us to see things with greater clarity and maturity, being aware of what is no longer possible, and where she also invites us to Because no defeat is the end, but the beginning of something different.

Learn to accept the reality of what happens in our environment

There is a very interesting book called “Loving what is” by Byron Katie. In its pages, it teaches us the value of knowing how to accept the realities that occur around us, whether emotional, work or personal. It would not be about resigning ourselves at all, but about being able to love ourselves to continue moving forward and thus promote new and better changes according to what we deserve.

• People, believe it or not, have an internal “radar” that tells us when something is wrong. However, sometimes we do not want to see it because it would mean having to face something for which we are not prepared: a break, a change …

• We must see that discomfort, that unhappiness as a clear and direct invitation towards movement, towards action, avoiding above all to feed false hopes. It must be borne in mind that when said discomfort becomes chronic, it is no longer a stimulus to tinge us with negativity. Of suffering.

What he wants to fall, he will do for himself sooner or later. Postponing the inevitable is a form of torture that we should not encourage, because after all, quitting is not always an act of weakness, on the contrary, saying goodbye on time is the reflection of someone strong and brave enough to let go. .