Together But Not Tied, The Couple As An Emotional Vitamin

It is common for couples to live tied to each other and thus reduce the concerns and the possibilities for emotional growth that each member of the couple has. A couple must be given wings to fly, not trapped in a cage to exclusively enjoy what it is and what it transmits.

Thus, what is clear is that the happiness of each one must depend on oneself, what happens is that the couple is one of its main enhancers. Thus, for it to have its full effect, we must pay attention to many beliefs that trap us in relationships of codependency.

For partners to function as essential vitamins, they have to take an essential step: find a shared purpose, while preserving personal space. For this, it is essential that time passes and that there is a positive mutual knowledge.

Finding a shared purpose for building healthy relationships

Identifying why finding a shared purpose is the first step in conserving each couple’s personal space. Doing so enhances the ability to get to know each other and explore new horizons, each contributing their grain of sand.

Finding those moments to share and define them will help the members of the couple understand that there is time to grow in company and to manage together. But be careful, we must be careful that this shared purpose does not absorb us, neither as a couple nor as a person with concerns.

Thus, couples who behave like emotional vitamin share concerns, so they must be made aware of many details. Subtleties that sometimes escape us between conflicts, such as:

• Realize that disagreeing with the other person does not imply that there is something evil in the relationship.
• The normal thing is to have unsolvable conflicts and have the ability to express oneself fully. In fact, 69% of conflicts between couples never go away.
• Although not everything can be resolved, it is possible to live with the differences.
• People attach a different importance to identical situations. Something that often hinders our ability to put ourselves in the place of the other.
• Recognizing the “emotional idealism” of each one and being able to talk about it means validating and building the emotional connection that a partner needs.
• The best way to settle certain situations is to show respect for the other “I know that we do not agree, I understand that you are committed to your vision on the subject as I am to mine. Therefore, I respect you ”.
• The rites that exist between the couple are explored and new ones are created.

Conserving personal space means becoming dream detectors

The more emotional information a couple shares about their concerns, the healthier their relationship will be in terms of their ambitions and emotional connections. This premise is basic when it comes to becoming dream promoters.

That is, it is not worth not restricting their freedom to enjoy and get to know each other, but as emotionally healthy couples we must promote the realization of the dreams and aspirations of the other. Falling into this error is common and is reflected in phrases such as:  “I have not told you not to do it”, when in reality you have not contributed too much to do it or you have put a face of “if you do, pay attention to the consequences”.

Yes, we may not say it, but by not offering our opinion explicitly, it is likely that we are holding certain traditional beliefs about the relationship. Thoughts that directly attack proactive attitudes that push us to realize our dreams.

It is good to avoid the existence of “hidden and little explored agendas” in our partner and to create an emotional ground to share desires and concerns that help us to recreate. To achieve this we must:

• Listen to the other about their concerns and their dreams.
• Asking him questions that encourage him to explore the story that fuels his ambition.

• Offer empathy by transmitting the message of “I understand that it is so important to you” (whether or not we share your aspiration).
• Offer emotional support and approval of decisions and progress. It is very important that the other person is aware of the pride they generate.

Loving yourself is loving yourself, “despite” and “with” our sides and edges. We all have an ugly side, another beautiful, another hurtful, another cloying, another acid, another bitter, another sweet, another salty, another happy, another fearful, another sad, another explorer, another lazy and another disconcerting.

Each of our facets constitutes us beings worthy of loving and receiving love, so to complete ourselves as an emotional vitamin we must. Only then can we kiss with every corner of our heart.

Images by Puung and Claudia Tremblay