Happy Memories Also Leave Scars
The mythical Audrey Hepburn said that the best thing to be happy is “having a bad memory.” There is some truth in this, because from various fields of psychology it is agreed that if you think about the future, anxiety appears and if you think about the past, depression will appear. But what about happy memories?
We have all experienced the paradox of remembering happy moments and feeling that a deep sadness invades us, born of the feeling that what was is far from being again. In those moments, when we share them, our voice tends to be clouded with a tinge of nostalgia, as if it were the echo of a seized time to which we would return, at least for a long time, without thinking too much about it.
Thus, starting our mental time machine, even to a place where something happened that we lovingly guard, can cloud our mood. Even the punishment given to us after doing a good mischief now seems, in the light of our mind, something enjoyable and joyous. Thus, the good memories lull the bad ones and they also leave scars.
The mistake of remembering thinking that we are still the same
Sometimes we make an effort to remember the past by convincing ourselves that not so much has changed. We remain the same, collecting wrinkles and debts that we can still take on.
Sometimes we remember the only way out to feel good, to distract ourselves or to talk for a while with someone who has already left us, saying or without saying goodbye, with or without an explanation. The fact is that in the good we always find a lament for its end, especially when it seems or is final.
You cannot clone the same experience. Many of the experiences we live are so beautiful because they had an end. Perhaps it is true that we have to assume that that time was the most wonderful, that we are right and reserve a place for it in our soul.
It is the first step to be part of a very special guild, a profession with a great future, that of creator of wonderful times.
Happy memories always remain if you leave them alone
Wishes are good memories that carry over into the future. We want to be able to build in our lives that special feeling that one day in the past seized our mind, body and spirit. Memory has constructed details of the memory that we did not know how to integrate at the time.
The truth is that it can be much harder to remember a happy moment than a sad one when you are bad. The sad memory gives you the reason that in your life there were always reasons for you to be unhappy. The good memory makes you think: “Am I wasting the best years of my life by not feeling again what I remember today as my best stay in this world?”
The bad memory scar hurts you, it can make you feel anger or rage . The scar of the good memory bleeds because it evokes, with sadness and melancholy, better times.
What to do so that the scar of the good memory heals you
There are memories that we fell in love with. Passages of our life that are filled with invented details that follow the line of the general sensation of that moment, enhancing it in our memory. It is like a love that does not evolve and remains eternally in the first phase of idealization.
The best way to break this aura is to confront it with reality. Not with the reality of that moment, logically you will not be able to return to it, but with people who shared that moment with you and who can give you a more realistic vision of what happened and how you felt.
When you integrate the memory as a whole and stop bringing it to you with the vocation of a romantic film… .you will realize that nothing that happens to us is absolutely good or bad, but rather contains nuances. Be aware of these edges, just as you are aware of everything positive.
That you have experienced it once is conducive to repeating it with different people and in different ways because when we taste something good and really sweet, we are prepared to know how to appreciate it again. Away the miscalculation of your gaze into the past and open your eyes to the gaze of the new path that appears before you.
Seen with realistic eyes, happy memories will not stop being so, but they will take away from you the feeling that all the good things have already passed. Thus, the happy memories will stop being scars and will become traces of what you lived, comfortable as when walking on wet sand. You like the feeling of those footprints and they also allow you to walk to another place in a pleasant way.
