How Much Value Is Your Word?
“I trust him, he is a person of his word.” We hardly hear anyone make this type of statement that was so common long ago. We have plunged into the age of excuses, white lies, and half-truths. We often make the mistake of saying what others expect of us without stopping to think whether, in the long run, we can deliver on what we have promised.
Somehow we have fallen into the habit of normalizing that words are not always backed up with actions. In this way, we may avoid immediate conflicts but, without a doubt, we are devaluing our integrity as people. Excuses end up undermining our image, making us seem irresponsible, insensitive and not very upright individuals. Something that can bring us problems in all areas of our life.
Your word defines you
We have all succumbed to the pressure to say “yes” to something that we really have no intention of doing. To accept challenges that we know in advance that we will not be able to meet, or to speak with authority about something that we do not really know.
Clearly, in most cases, there is no deliberate intention to lie, cheat, or harm others. We all try to be good, generous and trustworthy people. So why do we fall for these kinds of acts? Well, generally, for our own shortcomings.
Fear of conflict
Many of the times that we have broken promises, breached contracts and broken our word it has been due to a lack of assertiveness. We have a desire to please, please, and win the favor of the people we care about. And, therefore, it can be difficult for us to deny your requests.
Sometimes when someone close to us asks us for a favor, we don’t really feel like doing it. This is totally legal, our first responsibility is to be loyal to ourselves. And, if what they ask of us is going to make us uncomfortable or cause displeasure, we have every right to refuse.
However, when we are not assertive, this can seem like a selfish act or in bad taste. So we choose to affirm that we will, in order to buy time to find an excuse.
In effect, we have avoided the inconvenience of rejecting the other person’s request; Perhaps we have saved ourselves the discussion that would be generated if the other takes our refusal the wrong way. However, breaking our word with a pretext invented at the last minute does not speak highly of us.
Lack of humility
At other times we accept contracts or commitments that we cannot fulfill in order to preserve our image. If an important project is proposed to us at work, we will obviously be tempted to accept it. But, if we know that this will take us longer than they offer us, or that we do not have the knowledge to carry it out, the most honorable thing would be to reject it.
We may not appear as productive, intelligent, or experienced at first as we would like. But at least we will be showing honesty. We may not carry out this important project but we will certainly be commissioned by others in the future with the full confidence that we are honest people.
Unconcern
Finally, sometimes it comes down to simple nonchalance. Maybe we tell a friend that we will have coffee with him on the weekend and we truly intend to do so. But, when the time comes, we have come up with other plans that are more appealing or more urgent and we cancel the appointment.
It is acceptable for this to happen sometime, if something unforeseen happens to us. But if we take it as a habit, we will be carving out the image of a person who cannot be trusted.
Be a person of my word
In short, it would be advisable for us to remember the value of giving our word. We have to work on our assertiveness, to be able to reject requests with respect. And we must improve our self-esteem, to be aware of our limitations without feeling inferior for it.
It’s okay if you don’t want to do something. It’s okay if you can’t fulfill what they ask of you. But be honest, don’t resort to excuses, lies, or empty promises. When you give your word make sure that you want to and can keep it. Therein lies your integrity.
