6 Strategies To Stop Your Negative Self-talk

We all have an inner voice with which, in some way, we have conversations, an imaginary self to whom we speak and it speaks to us. In some cases, it has a friendly and supportive tone. However, there are those who live with an internal voice that does not help them. This type of dialogue has consequences on mental and physical health.

Even in times when people think the hostile voice is quiet, it is actually there. However, by applying certain strategies, you can stop your negative self-talk.

The importance of internal dialogue

Often times, the importance of internal dialogue is underestimated, it is even thought that our way of thinking does not matter too much. However, scientific evidence shows that the way we talk to ourselves has great influence.

Rantanen et al. (2021) published a study on the effects of verbalization on the autonomous activity of the organism when remembering unpleasant experiences. The results reflected that verbalizing a negative memory had regulatory effects on the sympathetic and parasympathetic responses. In simple terms, it helped people stay calm by lowering their heart rate.

On the other hand, Tanck et al. (2021) developed a work in which they evaluated the effectiveness of the mirror exposure technique. More specifically, its effectiveness in addressing emotions, body image, and eating disorders. In their research, the authors made a comparison between positive and negative verbalizations. Among their conclusions, they mention that positive expressions are the best option to promote body satisfaction.

In light of this evidence, we can assess the consequences of having a negative self-talk a little better. After all, a key aspect is psychological well-being, and negative voices hurt it. If you change the way you talk to yourself, you will see that you feel better.

6 keys to stopping negative self-talk

The first thing you should know is that the type of dialogue you have with yourself does not come up all of a sudden. These internal verbalizations appear from different positive or negative experiences that constitute your belief system. In other words, it is possible to say that it is something you learn over time.

Therefore, you can also learn to maintain a more positive internal dialogue that generates satisfaction. To achieve this goal, you only need to develop certain habits in your daily life, like the ones we describe below.

1. Pay attention to cognitive biases

Cognitive biases are errors in information processing that produce altered perceptions of reality. There are works, such as those of Platt et al. (2015), who talk about the link between these and depression in both youth and adults.

Following this line, identifying and discarding cognitive biases improves our internal dialogue. An example of this would be catastrophic thinking, which leads people to always imagine the worst possible scenarios. In this situation, you might ask yourself: how likely is it to actually occur? You will surely notice that it is something little rational.

2. Listen to the voice inside you

A common mistake people make is thinking that ignoring the negative is enough to avoid discomfort. In this sense, it is crucial to remember that everything that is not processed properly resurfaces as a symptom.

Start listening to the verbalizations you often say to yourself throughout the day. If possible, write them down in a notebook so you can better understand how your self-talk affects your emotions.

3. Integrate positive verbalizations into your daily life

Once you identify the negative expressions that make you feel bad, it is time to replace them with positive ones. There are different phrases or mantras that you can apply in different situations to regulate your emotions.

Not only is it enough to acknowledge negative ideas and dismiss them, if you want to stop your negative self-talk, you must also include positive things. For example, a typical negative thought might be: ” If something goes wrong, I’m going to be very upset .” Instead, you could say, ” If there is a problem, I’ll take it easy and solve it .”

4. Work on your self-esteem

Your inner voice has a lot to do with your self-esteem. Individuals who consistently deliver destructive criticism tend to misperceive themselves.

Consequently, a helpful strategy to reduce negative dialogue is to take a kinder view of yourself. Remember that just as you have weaknesses, you also have virtues that have helped you grow. Try to make a list of your positive and negative qualities so that you can have a more realistic perception.

5. Focus on the present

People often tend to worry excessively about the future or overthink the past. If you only think about the things that you lack, what could happen or the mistakes, you will feel discomfort. Also, keep in mind that there is no way to change the past and the future has not yet arrived. Falling into these vicious circles will not help you stop your negative self-talk.

When you develop an approach that tends to focus on the present, you increase your responsiveness and conflict resolution. It is useless to spend mental and physical energy on a problem that does not exist, or on something that can no longer be modified. Instead, if you approach situations as they arise, you will be better able to cope with them.

6. Go to psychotherapy

Finally, consider receiving psychological support to address your emotional distress. The consultation is a space in which the causes of negative dialogue can be studied in depth and its function understood. In this way, the psychologist or psychotherapist can use different techniques to help you develop a more gentle inner voice.

It should be noted that negative self-talk can sometimes be related to clinical conditions such as depression or anxiety. In those cases, psychological or psychiatric intervention will always be the best alternative. Not only to stop negative self-talk, but also in order to treat the psychological condition.