3 Reasons Why You Should Not Solve Problems For Others

Helping others is not as easy as it seems at first glance, since it is not only about attending to the needs of others to prevent them from having deficiencies or suffering. In reality, this is not so true. Most of the time you should not solve problems for others, because with this you hurt them.

Neither lack nor suffering are inherently negative. In fact, many times we find our way to our inner strength by assuming  dissatisfaction and pain. That is why you should not solve problems for others since it is a way to stop their evolution.

There is only one condition in which it is valid to take on the problems of others: when someone is physically or mentally unable to do it himself. This is the case of children or of those who have a disability that makes it impossible for them to take charge of their decisions. In the other cases, it is not valid since the loss we generate is disproportionate. Let’s look at three reasons that confirm this.

1. You inhibit the resourcefulness and resilience of others

The ability to solve problems and find solutions is not innate. This is learned and developed with practice. It includes cognitive, but also emotional and attitude aspects. It is not something that is achieved overnight.

The only way to develop that ability to devise solutions to difficulties is by facing them. Of course, it is much more comfortable for someone to do it for us, but this only makes us more insecure and dependent.

You should not solve problems for others because with this you inhibit the development of their ingenuity, their resilience. and the evolution of their vital capacities. The same ones that we are all going to need sometime. The same ones that give us wings to fly instead of remaining tied to a shelter.

2. It hampers growth and fosters dependency

This aspect is closely related to the previous one. What happens when someone always has another person to avoid difficulties? Simply that it fails to mature. Not in their intellectual capacities, much less in their emotions, feelings and behaviors.

This has a number of consequences, starting with character distortion. People who don’t deal with problems on their own can become fickle and demanding. In fact, they may not appreciate that support because they end up feeling that helping them is an obligation of others.

In this way, people also do not learn to earn things with their own effort. They may even see the effort as unnecessary discomfort. At best this leads to a selfish, authoritarian and inconsiderate way of being and acting. That is why it is one more reason why you should not solve problems for others.

3. Do you know what is the best?

This is one of the main reasons why you should not solve problems for others: what makes you think that you know what is best for others? Finally, you see the world and difficulties according to your own life experience, your knowledge and your temperament, and this does not necessarily apply to someone else.

The path that is good for someone is not necessarily good for another. Each one must be aware of designing their own path. The one that you like, the one that satisfies you, the one that allows you to develop the best of yourself. However, that is a process that no one can carry out for others, precisely because it is impossible for someone else to be able to completely put themselves in our shoes.

Sometimes the best good intention only causes harm. No one has the right to try to solve another’s problems by doing what they think is the solution. Maybe it just brings you new obstacles. Maybe it will make it all worse.

Solving the problems of others out of habit is not a good idea because by  doing so you can sow mistrust in others about their abilities. If you want to help, the best thing is to accompany and support, not to prevent others from building their own destiny.